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Creating Harmonious Relationships: A Review (January 2000) Andrew LeCompte’s (1999) book, Creating Harmonious Relationships, Portsmouth, NH: Let's Talk, follows one general principle that is not new to many relational self-help books: think before you speak. However, where many books say little more, LeCompte uses this general principle to develop an intelligent and well-thought out explanation of why it is important for individuals to recognize their ability to consciously think about the actions of themselves and others. As the author commendinlgy notes, this is not a book that preaches that men and women are from different planets. Rather, LeCompte isolates the cause of many misunderstandings within a unconscious "judge" that guides most behavior. In this respect, LeCompte urges his readers to embrace their often negative judges, and to consciously recognize and change the debilitative thoughts that are often the root of misunderstanding and conflict. LeCompte’s perspective is grounded in current research on self-processes, motivation, and personality that are summarized in a reader-friendly fashion. Communication scholars will find that LeCompte’s book summarizes familiar literature and perspectives that ground communication in cognitive processes. Those who study communication from a goals-based perspective will be pleased to read LeCompte’s account of the activation and pursuit of goals in everyday behavior. Whereas some of the explanations of the cognitive processes implicated in motivation and communication could use further explication, this book is not meant to be a comprehensive scholarly summary of relevant literature. Rather, LeCompte’s brief, yet cogent synthesis of a wide range of research will be sure to intrigue both new students to communication and casual readers looking for insight into psychologically-based communicative processes. Particularly useful are the many examples and anecdotes drawn from both LeCompte’s clients and his own life. The case studies connect the theoretical principles to real world understanding in a way that never demeans the naïve reader. This feature alone is commendable given the number our self-help books that treat the reader as desperate and confused. Whereas LeCompte supports his argument well through psychological research and personal exemplars, the author’s book is more of a book on self-realization than on building and maintaining personal relationships. Chapters on dealing with teenagers and coworkers seem almost misplaced in the otherwise cohesive message that it is important to engage self-awareness and to pursue joy. In this respect, it is unclear whether the book has practical applications as a relationship self-help tool. Rather, this book is an excellent tool for individuals who seek to understand themselves in order to embrace others. From the tone of the book, LeCompte would not disagree that self-awareness is a precursor to relational healing; it would serve the book well if the title were changed. This is not to say that the book is not useful for couples. LeCompte does include some discussion and examples of how predicting others’ thoughts can generate empathic listening; however, this book would serve as an excellent supplement to professional counseling that more explicitly explores relationship issues and dynamics. In summary, Creating Harmonious Relationships is an excellent resource for those seeking to better understand the influence of cognitive processes on our own behaviors and interactions with others. Although not theoretically-dense, LeCompte’s book summarizes a wide variety of perspectives that highlight the importance of understanding ourselves before we tackle our understanding of others. This gem of wisdom alone marks a substantive contribution to popular press books on communication processes.
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